Welcome everybody. Oscar Season has come and gone, so it is time to discuss the best movies of the prior year. 2014 is the topic of discussion in this particular case. Before I decided to make this list, I thought it was an ok year. Some good stuff came out, but not too much great. But as I started to go through the year, I realized something. This was an immense fucking year. So much great stuff came out, it’s almost absurd. From foreign crime flicks, to American made blockbusters, all the way down to small scale indies, we had some massive works. Now, obviously, this is all gonna be based on my opinion. Cause I couldn’t give too much of a fuck less about anyone else’s opinion. Otherwise I’d have to love Birdman, and that shit just ain’t happening. So coming up we will have all the movies I’ve seen ranked from worst to best. Only the top ten will be written about, cause I just don’t have the time to do more. But I also have some awards to give out, cause I’m that kind of guy. And at the very end, I will be looking forward to the year ahead briefly. So take a breather and dive in to the list of Cinema ranked to my standards. And be sure to take a look at the 2014 roundups of fellow film freaks Josh and Mike. See you on the other sides gents.
Hate
56. Tusk
55. Sin City: A Dame To Kill For
54. The Amazing Spiderman 2
53. Blended
Meh
Meh
52. 300: Rise of An Empire
51. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
50. A Million Ways To Die In The West
49. Robocop
48. The Theory Of Everything
48. The Theory Of Everything
47. Non Stop
46. Jersey Boys
45. Transformers: Age of Extinction
44. Night Moves
43. The Expendables 3
42. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
41. Horns
Solid
Solid
40. The Sacrament
39. Deliver Us From Evil
38. The Equalizer
39. Deliver Us From Evil
38. The Equalizer
37. 22 Jump Street
36. Neighbors
35. The Grand Budapest Hotel
34. Fury
33. Draft Day
32. The Imitation Game
31. The Interview
32. The Imitation Game
31. The Interview
30. Sabotage
29. Birdman
Really Good
Really Good
28. Godzilla
27. The Lego Movie
26. Filth
25. American Sniper
24. Selma
23. Edge of Tomorrow
Great
Great
22. The Drop
21. The Art of The Steal
20. Interstellar
20. Interstellar
19. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
18. How To Train Your Dragon 2
17. Inherent Vice
16. The Purge: Anarchy
Love
15. Boyhood
Love
15. Boyhood
14. Nightcrawler
13. Locke
12. Cheap Thrills
11. Whiplash
11. Whiplash
Director: Adam Wingard
Starring: Dan Stevens, Maika Monroe, Brendan Meyer, and Lance Reddick
Nostalgia seems to be an industry that can’t be stopped. Whenever a generation reaches a certain age, the decade they came up in becomes the new thing to riff on. So 80’s nostalgia has been all the rage these days, and with a love of the 80s comes a love of the under appreciated master of the 80s, John Carpenter. Wingard and his writing partner Simon Barrett have followed up the enjoyable enough You’re Next to make a throwback to 80s action cinema, and they go full Carpenter. Pulsing synth score, widescreen compositions, a mysterious leading man, great action, and a nihilism to it. Hell, it even opens with a title screen using the Carpenter font. Essentially, this was the movie made explicitly for me. It doesn’t hurt that it’s a tight movie, no problems like their last movie, is funny and thrilling, and whip smart to boot. It’s an excellent little action movie that reminds us of a day when action movies were allowed to have nihilistic fun.
Director: David Fincher
Starring: Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, Carrie Coons, and Tyler Perry
David Fincher is a god damn national treasure, and it’s amazing that he can still knock out these dark, bleak genre pics with ease and make a new classic with the frequency with which he does just drop a classic. So it’s with a little surprise that he comes to board and makes a murder mystery that’s more a black comedy than a thriller. When Ben Affleck’s wife goes missing, he become the number one suspect. With a blood hungry media stoking the flames, he has to deal with public scrutiny and the police while trying to prove his innocence. But is he? A movie that’s more interested in taking the piss out of the media and shining a cynical light on marriage, this is a dark movie that’s funny as all hell in a sly and subtle way. Filled with Finchers masterful eye for visuals, Trent Reznors hypnotic score, and masterful turns by the entire cast, this is a brilliant movie with legs on it. Right up my alley.
Directors: Chapman and Maclain Way
Starring: Bing Russell
If there’s one documentary to see this year, it’s this. To be honest, I only say that because it’s the only documentary I’ve seen this year. But it is good, this is no participation prize. This is a riveting look at a scrappy baseball team, a man trying to play the game his way, and how an underdog can beat the big dog. This is, essentially, a real life Bad News Bears. Bing Russell, actor and father to Kurt, always loved baseball. In the 70s, he decided he was going to start a baseball team not associated with the MLB. And it was a completely rousing success, a juggernaut in the minor league baseball world. But it got too big for the MLB to allow it, so a fight came. And the fight with the MLB is more interesting than any run to a championship that most sports movies would wanna focus on. This is a movie about men getting a second chance, doing what they love and doing it their way. It’s a brilliantly made movie and it’s a beautiful and uplifting story. Sports fans, this is a must. Anyone else, it’s a must. This is amazing stuff.
Director: James Gunn
Starring: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, and Bradley Cooper
Marvel has not yet made a bad movie. Even their worst movie (Thor or Captain America: The First Avenger) are entertaining to watch. But for the most part, they make empty thrills, movies that don’t stick with you. As entertaining as they are, Iron Man 2 and The Incredible Hulk don’t linger. Sure, they have The Avengers but that mainly due to fanboy pleasures (a great pop flick, but mainly the idea of all these guys together is the glue of the movie). But then phase 2 happened and they started to really sing. Yeah, Thor: The Dark World is more akin to phase 1. Lower on this list but still entertaining, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, is a damn fine movie with something more than thrills on it’s brain but still a tad lacking in some ways. But Iron Man 3 is a under appreciated masterpiece. And then they go and drop a legitimate classic up their with Star Wars and Raiders of The Lost Ark. Guardians of The Galaxy is now the high point they have to beat. It’s a movie everyone can enjoy, filled with fanboy moments and genuine heart and gut busting humor. There’s real pathos to the film, real work going into the film. It’s human and timeless. The cast is totally charming, making these lovable lowlives totally easy to root for. Visually, this is the best thing they’ve done too. Everything else they’ve done has had an almost high end TV look to it, Iron Man 3 aside. But like Shane Black from Iron Man 3, James Gunn is a real director. He has vision and brought it to pass here. Gorgeous visuals of outer space, crazy aliens, and the heart beat of the movie, a tree and raccoon. That they managed to make CGI characters like this so real and heartfelt is a combination of technical mastery, world class acting, and superb writing/directing. This is a grade A action movie, another movie that allows us to have fun at the movies again. Marvel has their work cut out for them if they wanna move past this.
Director: Bryan Singer
Starring: Hugh Jackman, James MacAvoy, Michael Fassbender, and Jennifer Lawrence
The first franchise of the modern day comic book movie industry is back with it’s biggest entry yet. What sets this apart from other movies in the genre, and what places it so high for me, is the balancing act of reboot, sequel and prequel. It’s a movie that is set after the events of The Wolverine, but then jumps back in time to events after First Class. The plot hinges on a mistake they make in the past, trying to fix it with time travel, making another mistake, and having to fix that before making things so much worse. It’s a great balancing act that could have fallen apart due to all the plates in the air, but the returning OG director Bryan Singer keeps it all going. The cast is game as usual, with Fassbender being the standout as usual. The movie is stunning to look at, Singer really stepping his game up after flailing about since departing the X franchise after United. The scale is much bigger, and it has to with the goal being a fixing of the timeline. The action is bigger but not over the top, staying down to earth for this property. And this movie goes rough with the violence. It’s brutal and gives the whole thing a weight. We know if they fail what hell awaits them. This is a great way to fix the past and a way to set a good path for the future. I’ll be honest though, this is one that works more for those who grew up with the prior movies. But this is a singular movie, and one I was stoked to see. It didn’t disappoint.
Directors: Chad Stahelski and David Leitch
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Michael Nyqvist, Alfie Allen, and Willem Dafoe
Sometimes simplicity is all we need, and sometimes it’s the hardest thing to do right. But long time stuntmen and first time directors managed to make a movie that is straight to the point and a movie that works better than most overly plotted movies this year. Keanu Reeves is perfectly cast as the titular John Wick, a man who has just lost his wife to cancer. While grieving her loss, a dog is delivered to his door. A dog his wife planned to arrive the day of her funeral, as a means to keep him sane and comforted. He instantly falls for the dog. But when a spoiled crime boss’ son robs Wick and kills the dog, Wicks past comes to light. He is an ex hitman. More than a hitman. He is a boogeyman, a horror story that hitmen tell each other. He picks up his guns again and is out for revenge. That’s all the first 20 minutes. From there, its just murder and mayhem done at an expert level. These guys have taken all their past work experience and their considerable talents as stuntmen to shoot action scenes in an exciting and visceral way. Reeves himself, a veteran of highly choreographed action movie, commits himself fully to the role. All the action is done perfectly, but the centerpiece action scene in a night club is an instant classic. Action took a big hit in the 2000s, being shot with no flair at all and being shot too incoherently. But now we are getting back to visually arresting action that can be seen. And this is one of the best examples of the new trend. This is just kick ass cinema, straight and to the head shot killing point.
Director: Jim Mickle
Starring: Michael C. Hall, Sam Shephard, Don Johnson, and Wyatt Russell
Pulp neo noir stories can fall into an easy rut of just being violent and go through the motions, with a big “reveal” that isn’t surprising. There’s an air of laziness running through them. Cold in July almost seems like a direct response to that predictability. This is a movie that takes 2 or 3 just complete left turns throughout that feel so natural despite not having been forshadowed. The movie we are sold at the beginning of the movie is most definitely not the movie we get by the end. Hell, it’s not the same movie half way through. Much like The Guest earlier in this list, this is a movie that is doing a lot of Carpenter inspired cinematic tricks. It too has a Carpenter-y score. The visuals are so heavily inspired by the man, with gorgeous widescreen compositions. That and it has the low key violence that he did so well. And it is about rough, gruff men dealing with a horrible situation and having to go to the edge, sacrificing something in the mission at hand. The cast is brilliant, with each man doing some arguably career best work. Hall is unrecognizable, playing a weak man trying to prove his worth as a man. Shephard is the old school soldier who is a man of few words, a man with a code, and a man whose first response to a problem is violence. This is a movie that has to be seen to be believed and understood. Surprise is a big component of the movie. It’s a wild ride and I will beat the drum for this flick forever.
3. Dawn of The Planet of The Apes
Director: Matt Reeves
Starring: Andy Serkis, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, and Toby Kebell
The Planet of The Apes franchise was dead for a long time. Tim Burton tried to revive it with a remake, but being a Tim Burton movie it was an abortion. It laid dormant for a little longer until a new movie was unleashed upon us. First looks at it made it seem like a technical marvel, but really silly. But the movie managed to surprise the world by being a really smart and emotional movie (with the apes at least). So when it did big bucks and a sequel was announced, the world was actually awaiting a new Apes movie. And this time, the marketing materials hinted at a good movie. But it didn’t hint at a movie as good as we actually got. Ten years after the events of the prior movie, the world is essentially without humans, or so it seems. Caesar (a brilliant Andy Serkis) has a society of smart apes and the group is happy. They are peaceful and don’t hurt other apes. But then the humanless world they assumed to be in is shattered when humans appear in the woods one day, shooting one of the apes. From there, the interactions between the humans and the Apes begins. But despite some fruitful initial interactions, distrust and past horrors fuel some terrible decisions and lead to a momentous finale that will lead us closer to the events of the original movie. This is a special flick, in that it’s a big budget blockbuster movie more interested in the quiet moments. The slow, character beats to enrich the world and to make all the choices so painful to see unfold. Everything here could have been avoided, but hanging onto pain from the past is a killer. The performances are stunning, with Serkis being a big standout. Kebbell is also great, making Koba a righteous villain. But everyone works, a stark difference from the last one where all the humans sucked. This is a brilliant movie, a rarity in the Hollwood game. This shouldn’t happen and its all the more amazing that it came out as perfectly as it did.
Director: Bong Joon Ho
Starring: Chris Evans, Jamie Bell, William Hurt, and Tilda Swinton
Sci Fi is a genre that was always meant to be a thinking genre. The best of it has always been smart, on the big screen and on TV. But in recent years, Sci Fi has taken a plunge into mediocrity, substituting meaning for thrills. If this year has proven one thing, it’s that Sci Fi can be smart and thrilling. And of all the movies this year, this is the top of the food chain. It manages the feat of being equally both, and being masterclasses in both. Set in a dystopian future, the last remnants of the human race are on a perpetually moving train. The world has frozen over, and the train is the only safe place. But just like in normal society, there is a rigid class system. And the further from the head of the train you are, the lower the class you are. Starring Chris Evans in a role that brilliantly plays off his role of Captain America, he is our hero who is not the clean cut hero we are used to. He is going to lead a revolt to take the train for all the poor and disenchanted that are treated like dirt. And he will do anything necessary to do so. This is a marvelously smart, inspired movie with some classic action pieces and a murky landscape of morality. Visually, its a dynamic film. It manages to make each car of the train distinct and cinematic. The action is highly stylized and shot with a keen eye to land each blow. The acting is superb all around and gives Chris Evans the best role he’s ever had, showing us he has not been given the proper material as Captain America. This is a stunning film. Sure, some nitpicky problems could be found. But that’s beside the point. It has a point to make, and it follows it to it’s natural and bittersweet conclusion. High class and thrilling as all hell, this is a classic of the genre. Great stuff and I can’t wait to watch it again.
1. The Raid 2
Director: Gareth Evans
Starring: Iko Uwais, Arifin Putra, Tio Pakusodewo, and Alex Abbad
Sometimes, a movie comes about that just changes the way you watch movies. It doesn’t happen all too often. Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, Lord Of The Rings. These movies are but a few that have changed how movies went about. It’s been a good bit since we’ve been blessed with one, arguably not since The Dark Knight in 2008. And for me, we got one this year in the Gareth Evans’ magnum opus, a sequel to his name making The Raid. Taking place almost immediately after the events of The Raid, we see that Rama is not in as great a position as his seeming win at the end of The Raid suggested. The safety of his loved ones at risk, he has to go undercover in a crime family to break up the stench of corruption rotting away the police force. Having to start in prison, we see him make himself valuable to the family. But when familial strife threatens the balance of the entire underworld in Jakarta, Rama has to move quickly. Right off the bat, this is not a clone of the original in any way. Evans makes the scope much bigger and the story more epic, a criminal Shakespearean action flick. There’s a theme throughout of knowing ones place and not overreaching. And all throughout, men are punished by over stepping their bounds. Iko Uwais is much more comfortable as Rama this time about, giving a more heartfelt performance. But the real reason this movie works is Gareth. He has now proven himself a force to be reckoned with, a cinematic wunderkind. With a bigger budget, he gives us a gorgeously dirty movie. He has a keen eye for composition and an eye for world building. His script is sprawling, giving us an epics worth of story, all of it converging in an explosive finale. His continued story of Rama is one of noble failure, a man trying to do the right thing but failing. All with the added plot line of Ramas slipping humanity, being corrupted by living a life of a thug. It’s much more rich than a movie of it’s ilk needs to be.s But he somehow has managed to top himself (and, in essence, the whole industry) in shooting action. Every fight is a bloody, brutal dance. The camera is kinetic, moving with every punch and kick. His choreography of the fights is completely unreal, and the stunts are insane. All real men fighting, no CGI. And with the bigger budget and bigger script, there’s a brilliant car chase within. Epic, action packed, and game changing, this is a masterpiece for a generation. I love this movie like very few before it, and my views of action has changed completely. Gareth has risen to the level of master and has gained all the respect, any project he jumps onto next being a must see. An epic, perfect movie to end an epic year.
Gareth Evans - The Raid 2
Awards And Such
Best Director
Gareth Evans has been making waves in the genre circuit for a while now. But what he does here is a masterwork. Taking his bigger budget, he throws it all on the screen. Composing fantastic images with clarity and brutality, he takes the action genre to a new level with his ability to shoot a fight scene. Bringing out some great performances and making an epic crime story tight and enriching, it’s classic work. What Gareth does here is name making, putting himself into the stratosphere. Next level shit, this is the best directorial performance in a while.
Nominees:
Bong Jong Ho - Snowpiercer
Matt Reeves - Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
Jim Mickle - Cold In July
James Gunn - Guardians Of The Galaxy
Best Original Screenplay
Guardians Of The Galaxy - James Gunn and Nicole Perlman
Original screenplay is a hell of a category. There’s never a lack of great screenplays in a given year. But this year was retarded with great writing on all fronts. So original screenplay was very difficult this year. But it has to go to the monumental feat that James Gunn did with Guardians of The Galaxy. Even without the gorgeous visuals and great soundtrack, the script is air tight and manages to inject some real pathos and emotion into a hilarious and thrilling package. An absolute classic that elevates the blockbuster for the first time since The Dark Knight. What a fucking thrill.
Nominees:
The Raid 2 - Gareth Evans
Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes - Mark Bomback, Rick Jaffa, and Amanda Silver
The Guest - Simon Barrett
Locke - Steven Knight
Best Adapted Screenplay
Snowpiercer - Bong Joon Ho and Kelly Masterson
You wouldn’t think adapting a screenplay would be too hard, being as the work is already there. But just from some movies this year, like Horns or The Theory Of Everything, it’s not that easy. You gotta figure out how to condense some dense work into a workable movie, something that moves. And that’s a tricky dance. And while I was thinking for a long time that Gillian Flynn adapting her own book onto the screen, I started to look deeper and there was so many good adaptations this year. But to me, the best example was Snowpiercer. Ho and Masterson took two graphic novels, condense them into one movie that tells a complete story and is exhilarating and smart. The movie is structured like a swiss fucking watch, with great dialogue and some brilliant set pieces. But it’s biggest achievement is making such rich god damn characters that aren’t easily defined. It’s a tragic and downbeat movie, with a distaste for the class system we employ now and takes everything to the unhappiest ending it could, but giving it a dash of hope. This is a masterful screenplay, maybe even better than the original screenplay winner.
Nominees:
Cold In July - Jim Mickle and Nick Damici
Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn
Inherent Vice - Paul Thomas Anderson
How To Train Your Dragon 2 - Dean DeBlois
Best Cinematography
Matt Flaney - The Raid 2
This may not be the most typical answer, but this is the one I’m gonna defend to the death. It may not be a lush period piece or a one take circle jerk about acting, but when one thinks about cinematography, this has to be the best of the year. For one, it captures the nastiness of the underworld of Jakarta, while not making it look really crappy. It’s a cinematic nastiness. The construction and composition of shots is really great too. But getting down to it, it’s the fight scenes. They are shot with such a clarity and innovative eye, it’s unreal. Kinetic and balletic, it conveys such a level of brutality and physicality that these talented fighters portray. Flanery shows a craft that puts him in high class group.
Nominees:
Ryan Samul - Cold In July
Jeff Cronenweth - Gone Girl
Robert Elswit - Nightcrawler
Robert Elswit - Inherent Vice
Best Editing
The Raid 2
Yeah, it’s another win for The Raid 2. This is such a tightly edited fucking movie. Any action movie worth it’s salt has to be edited well. Any movie could be choreographed well, but if its shot like shit its not worth a damn (90 percent of action movies in the 2000s). And this is another masterful technical aspect to the movie that enhances the proceedings. And while everything is perfect, there’s two examples that is all the argument I need. The fight montage with Hammer Girls debut, and the fight scene in the kitchen at the end. These are just wonderful works, edited like no ones business. It’ll always be insane to me that movies like this don’t get the recognition they deserve in this category.
Nominees:
Snowpiercer
Gone Girl
Whiplash
Cold In July
Best Score
Interstellar
While it may not be the best movie of the year and it may have split audiences, it’s almost inarguable that the movie has a stellar score. Hans Zimmer gives us another outstanding score in a Nolan collaboration. It conveys the epic scope of the movie, with the wonder of space exploration and the heart of a mans love for his kids. It’s one of the best scores in recent years. And while it doesn’t top his work on The Dark Knight or Man Of Steel, this is great nonetheless. Just listen to it isolated from the movie and you’ll understand.
Nominees:
The Raid 2
Gone Girl
Cold In July
The Guest
Best Visual Effects
Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
You know it’s a special effect. Your mind is well aware of this fact on a subconscious and conscious level. These are CGI apes. But that’s only the moments when you’re actually thinking about it, because this movie completely sucks you in to the world. During the ride, you don’t realize how fucking amazing the work on display here is. These apes are so lifelike and are given such a life behind the eyes, the lines start to blur. So while it isn’t as bright and obvious an effect as the others (all great nonetheless), this is just insane work. Real top notch stuff.
Nominees:
Guardians Of The Galaxy
Interstellar
X-Men: Days Of Future Past
Godzilla
Best Supporting Actress
Carrie Coon - Gone Girl
There may be flashier choices this year, but for my money none of them do such good work as Carrie Coon. She may not be as crucial to the story as some others, but she is the heart of the movie. The audience surrogate to the absolute insanity of the events unfolding. She brings intelligence, humor, heart and heartbreak to the proceedings. It’s subtle work but it’s the performance that I’m gonna remember in the supporting race.
Nominees:
Tilda Swinton - Snowpiercer
Adrianne Palicki - John Wick
Rene Russo - Nightcrawler
Noomi Rapace - The Drop
Best Supporting Actor
JK Simmons - Whiplash
It wasn’t gonna be anyone else. Let’s be real here. This is one of the few times that I’m gonna say the Academy got it 100% right. And not even in the fact that it was the best in the kind of movies the pick. He is seriously just god damn astonishing. He’s a whirlwind of vitriol and anger. Going so far to push these kids to greatness. He manages to not make this guy a total cartoon, giving him some humanity beneath the putdowns. And the putdowns, my god. He delivers those fucking things with such vigor, it’s like poetry. He elevates a great role into classic status. Amazing all around.
Nominees:
Sam Shephard - Cold In July
Bradley Cooper - Guardians Of The Galaxy
Ethan Embry - Cheap Thrills
Don Johnson - Cold In July
Best Actress
Rosamund Pike - Gone Girl
Yep. It’s weird that a man who’s called a misogynist (though he isn't, keyboard fucking warriors) managed to make a movie with great female roles two movies in a row, where the women outmatch the men. And this is one of the best things he’s done, in no small part due to the outstanding work done by Pike. She is on a whole different level here. Going effortlessly to the wounded wife part in the diary aspects of the movie, to the scheming evil genius of the latter half. It’s effortless. And it’s fucking scary how well she does it. Her eyes are so unsettling, a Hannibal like insane intelligence behind them. The movie doesn’t work without her. It would be a one sided affair, or it would just seem way to ridiculous if someone couldn’t bring the intelligence and ferocity to the role. Next level shit, and hopefully it gets her great roles like this forever. All the more astounding is that she was a Bond girl in the worst Bond movie ever. She’s graduated and it’s amazing.
Nominees:
Zoe Saldana - Guardians Of The Galaxy
Patricia Arquette - Boyhood
Emily Blunt - Edge Of Tomorrow
Rose Byrne - Neighbors
Best Actor
Tom Hardy - Locke
Tom Hardy is one of, if not the, best actor of this generation. He can completely disappear into a role. From Bronson all the way to The Drop, he is never the same. It’s a magic trick. There’s a reason why Bane works as well as he does, despite being kinda not well written. And this movie here was like a test to show just how magnetic he is. The only man on screen the entire time, he has to make talking on the phone and to himself interesting. And he does it. The command he has over his physicality and voice is ridiculous. Every movement and gaze and line delivery is perfectly considered, making Ivan Locke such a structured man. He is a man of conviction and this set of rules he lives by. And we see that just in his body and voice. This may very well be the best performance of his career thus far, and just cements him as one of the best in the game. Mad Max: Fury Road can’t come any quicker.
Nominees:
Jake Gyllenhaal - Nightcrawler
Andy Serkis - Dawn of The Planet Of The Apes
Chris Evans - Snowpiercer
Michael C. Hall - Cold In July
Best Ensemble Cast
Guardians Of The Galaxy
One word to describe Guardians of The Galaxy? Charming. Seriously, this movie is a fucking charmer. And the script may have given them the material to be so, but a shit ass cast could have tanked the stuff James Gunn gave them. But this cast is so perfectly calibrated and attuned to the world, the movie is a giant home run. From Chris Pratt making the leap to charming movie star as Star Lord, Zoe Saldana giving heart and regret to Gamorra, Dave Bautista giving a charming cluelessness as the brutish Drax, Bradley Cooper going full on little gangster as the hurting Rocket, and Vin Diesel playing the heart and soul as a talking tree. All these guys are superb and give star making turns. Has there been as perfect a cast in a Space epic since Star Wars? Maybe not. Either way, these guys made a true classic. We see how they can become friends, and it works like a motherfucker. And for all the shit heels complaining that they sideline Gamorra because she isn’t the best character in the movie, fuck off. She’s great, and just because she can’t top Rocket or Groot doesn’t make a movie sexist. It makes it god damn realistic, because not many men or women could top those two. This is great, and just be happy for once.
Nominees:
The Raid 2
Snowpiercer
X-Men: Days Of Future Past
Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
Carpet Bomb Of Hate
_poster.jpg)
Breakout Performers
Iko Uwais (The Raid 2) and Carrie Coon (Gone Girl)
These two are relative newcomers to this acting thing. Uwais has done a few films here and there, but mainly of the kung fu variety and with Evans for the most part. And aside from some TV stuff, this was her first big role. And for her, her breakout is combined with her great turn on her lead role on TV’s The Leftovers. Between the two big roles she’s given in 2014, she has shown a ridiculous amount of range and should be in demand for a good long while. And Uwais? He has shown some pretty decent acting in The Raid 2, in addition to his insane stunt performing and fight skills. And he is getting the recognition he deserves, with some sort of role in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Even if it’s a Darth Maul like role of just physicality, that’s fine. These two came into the year relative unknowns to the world at large. And ideally, they’ll be sticking around past 2014. It seems very likely they will.
Most Overrated Movies
Time to be controversial boys and girls. I’m gonna go right out and say it up front, I don’t dislike these movies. Far from it in one of their cases. The other is fine. Just not really worth the circle jerk it’s gotten from the cool kids. Winter Soldier is a damn fine film. It really is. They managed to completely elevate the Cap character after a pretty bland and boring first movie. With the update to modern day, it has gotten a nice boost with some thematic weight to it regarding spying and the need for intel. But it’s weird to me that a movie that is the most grim dark movie in a universe that everyone claims to be upbeat and fun is supposed to be the best is disingenuous to me. For one, the action is ok. 2000’s shaky cam is still in effect for the fight scenes. The only stuff that doesn’t get it is the Falcon flight scenes. But everything else is a bland mix of fist fights and guns being fired. No real unique quality to the action. Visually, it’s not as interesting as the other movies in Phase 2. It’s drab, but in a TV movie trying to be serious way. And really, nothing about the movie is a surprise. Every twist and turn is seen a mile out. And for a movie built around surprises and twists, it’s not that good a script then. But these don’t kill the movie for me. There is an energy and drive to the movie with some real consequences to the action. Overall, I just felt a little out of the loop on this one.
Then there’s Birdman. It’s been a good long while since I really just didn’t get the love for something. Yeah, it’s visually shot well. And some of the performances are good. But a movie this empty headed and fucking up it’s own ass getting this much love is ridiculous. And seriously, no one can really argue why they like it. It’s just a god damn call of “Oh you just don’t get it”. Fuck that noise dummies. It’s possible for someone to get it and not like what’s being fucking sold. Seriously, I’m over it. Fuck it. It’s gonna be looked back on as the Crash of the 2010’s.
Most Underrated Movies
There are plenty of movies released in a year that won’t be seen by everybody. It’s just a fact of life. Be it that it’s a foreign release or given little marketing, plenty of great movies are limited releases. And that’s the case for both of these movies. The Raid 2 is an action masterpiece and a next step in the genre. But I feel like I’m taking crazy pills, because it seems like people are now talking about John Wick as the best action movie of the year. And it’s great. But Jesus, did these people just forget that The Raid 2 came out in 2014? That seems to be the only reason to not call it the best. Or did the little released Indonesian action flick not get the marketing push to make it into peoples minds? Who knows. All I know is filmmakers respect the craft on display, and it seems like it’s a movie that is gonna have legs.
The other movie is Cold In July, just a little indie that wasn’t gonna be a big hit due to it’s subject matter and matter of fact ugliness. Not that it’s hard to watch. It just goes to really dark places and isn’t afraid to do so. It’s an expertly crafted piece of neo noir crime fiction. I’ll beat the drum for this sumbitch for years to come.
Carpet Bomb Of Hate
Alright boys and girls. I’ve pretty much been praising movies thus far. Which is a good thing and a fitting thing since this was a god damn good year for movies. But even in a year as good as this, there is bound to be a shit ton of shit. And boy oh boy, the stinkers this year were something special. So it’s time I kick it into anger mode and drop a carpet bomb of hatred.
First up on the list is The Amazing Spider-Man 2. This movie is so bad, it gave me PTSD. And I’m not trying to be funny here and make a joke about it being my Vietnam or some such shit. I mean it made me remember the days back in the 90s when movies were embarrassed of and didn’t understand comic books. The days of Batman and Robin. So it’s fitting that the movie is mind bogglingly inspired by such crapterpieces as the Schumacher movies. Visually and narratively so. The movie is an absolute fucking mess of plotlines that just don’t fit together tonally and are just half baked. Worst of them being that they make Peter a god damn stalker, taking inspiration from Superman Returns, another classic. But then you have the obvious tie ins to future sequels, cluttering the movie up with garbage that is now not even going to be built upon because the movie was such trash, they gave up and are letting Marvel take over the webs. This is such a clusterfuck of a movie, an absolute embarrassment to the high riding comic book movies we got now. Through too many cooks in the kitchen, a garbage “plot” with a villain that has no real bearing on the story, to all the characters that are just completely misunderstood by the creatives. Fuck this movie and the shithorse it rode in on.
Next up is Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. This should have been good. The original was a great damn flick. An anthology of super over the top noir stories with a comic book look to em (being based off comics, that’s very fitting). It was, like the books, an over the top love letter to noir. And since the last movie only did three of the books, there was plenty left over. Yet somehow, in deciding to make 3 stories again, they decide to let Frank Miller write two new stories. And as we’ve all known since the turn of the Millennium, he’s become a joke/parody of himself. He seemingly has lost all ability to write a compelling story. It doesn’t help that Robert Rodriguez has also seemingly lost his ability to give a shit, turning out these cheap as fuck and half assed movies that look like power point projects. So he didn’t even try to elevate the garbage he was given. It somehow doesn’t even look like the original. It tries, but it fails. Which is a god damn fucking miracle, given that it was almost all done on a computer. So for it to look worse than a movie made 9 years prior, that’s quite the feat of lackadaisical fucks not given. And the worst sin of all? It manages to make Eva Green being nude uninteresting. How do you do that? What in the actual fuck? Doesn’t help that the very few returning actors either don’t care (Mickey Rourke) or are not good enough actors to handle what they were given (Jessica Alba). The stories are just overly violent, like a bad video game. No point, no idea of how noir works. It’s an abomination on all fronts. A god damned waste of time and makes the 9 year wait all the more painful.
And finally, we come to the coup de gras of shit. One of the worst things I’ve ever seen. Definitely the worst thing I’ve ever seen in a movie theater. And it is somehow a new low point for an absolutely abominable “filmmaker”. After a few year hiatus after getting butt hurt from negative reviews, Kevin Smith is back with another “horror” movie, the abysmal Tusk. The only thing horrifying about it is that it even fucking exists. Kevin Smith seemingly has never seen a horror flick, since nothing about this is scary. The moments where he tries just falls flat. Moments where he tries to be funny fall flat, like everything he’s done not in the View Askewniverse. You’d be surprised he ever made funny movies at all. He then tries to make a “weird” movie, but he shoots his load on weirdness halfway through, and it isn’t even weird enough. He just strolls right through it. The contempt he has for the audience is astounding. Not a single ounce of effort was put in to this movie. It’s shot like shit, it’s written even worse, and has pretty awful acting (outside of Michael Parks and Genesis Rodriguez, elevating the flaming garbage heap they were given). And as if he is daring the audience to leave, he hires Johnny Depp to give the absolute worst performance of his career. It’s an awful, self indulgent jerk off of a performance that is another silly hat/voice performance. It doesn’t help that Smith is such an awful director with no balls to tell Depp to reel it back, we get these overlong fucking abortions of scenes with Depp just riffing. It’s fucking abysmal. Just, really bad. Almost unreal bad. Cop Out and Red State couldn’t even hint at the level of shit this man could plop out. At this point, Smith is a joke. He isn’t a film maker worth a damn. Plenty of filmmakers are withering away, fighting tooth and nail to get a movie made, but this shit bird can still get whatever pot riddle “thought” enters his worthless fucking brain because he made Clerks 20 years ago. Someone should tell these assholes giving him money that Clerks is way past it’s expiration date, not to mention being just ok. Kevin Smith is a rotted anal fissure in the rectum of cinema. How he somehow is the worst of the indie group from the 90s is astounding when Rodriguez is making garbage too. On every level, fuck this movie. I will never see a Kevin Smith movie again, nor will I see a Johnny Depp movie. These two were matches made in wasted talent heaven. Fuck them.
2015: A Brief Look Ahead
2015 Looks To Be Another Great Year. Now, at this point in the year, some stuff hasn’t even been announced yet that will come out that might light the world on fire. And some of the stuff announced may not be on anyones radar, but will come out of nowhere and light shit up. But even excluding those, the year has some crazy movies coming out. Sadly, not all of them will live up to the hype. It’s just the rules. Some bad movies have to happen. But ideally, we get a handful of great. And looking at this list, I think we’re gonna get that. So here's the movies I'm looking forward to, on different levels.
34. Victor Frankenstein
33. San Andreas
32. Jurassic World
31. London Has Fallen
30. Terminator: Genisys
29. Hitman: Agent 47
28. Jane Got A Gun
27. Fantastic Four
26. Trainwreck
25. Steve Jobs
24. Run All Night
23. Straight Outta Compton
22. Ant-Man
21. Insidious: Chapter 3
20. Tomorrowland
19. Southpaw
18. The Good Dinosaur
17. Inside Out
16. Chappie
15. Creed
14. Triple Nine
13. The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
12. Ted 2
11. Mission Impossible 5
10. Child 44
9. Midnight Special
8. Spectre
7. Crimson Peak
6. Furious 7
5. Bridge of Spies
4. Avengers: Age Of Ultron
3. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
2. The Hateful Eight
2. The Hateful Eight
1. Mad Max: Fury Road
- Tom Lorenzo
No comments:
Post a Comment