Movies Watched The Week of 4/5 - 4/11

Good morning Vietnam.  Or night I should say.  Yeah, life pushed this back a little bit for me, but not too far back that I didn’t get it done so shut up naysayers.  And for all the whiny shitbirds around, not as many 8s on the roster.  Good week on the dock, so enjoy it.  Or not.  Fucking ingrates.

Wild Card (April 5th, 2015)

Director: Simon West

Starring: Jason Statham, Milo Ventimiglia, Michael Angarano, and Stanley Tucci

Rating: 8.5/10

The Driver (April 8th, 2015)
Director: Walter Hill
Starring: Ryan O'Neal, Bruce Dern, Isabelle Adjani, and Ronee Blakely

Rating: 9.5/10

Top Five (April 9th, 2015)
Director: Chris Rock
Starring: Chris Rock, Rosario Dawson, JB Smoove, and Gabrielle Union

Someone needs to tell comedians to stop trying to be Louis CK.  He’s a good comedian and all, his show is unique and has it’s moments.  But only he can do that.  No one else can be Louis.  So Chris Rock trying to make a movie as if Louis did is really just annoying.  It feels simultaneously authentic and manufactured, a man trying to tell a personal story in such a copied way.  And it’s not even the original a story, basically having Chris Rock play an alcoholic version of Eddie Murphy, a once legendary stand up stuck in a rut of awful comedies.  One of the problems I have with the movie is it just tells us these things about Chris Rock, never really selling it as true.  Like his alcoholism.  They make it seem like he was as bad a drunk as Richard Pryor was, despite him saying his low point was watching Cedric The Entertainer have sex with two women he just had sex with.  It’s trying to be funny, but it undercuts what it wants to be a serious problem for the character.  It also tells us he was funny once, despite never really showing it.  He’s a bitter, sarcastic asshole the whole movie who has some nice little quips but never really comes off as funny.  They could have just shown us old clips of Rock standup to do some work there, but then he does a little bit at the end of the movie that just doesn’t land.  Maybe all of this would have worked if Rock didn’t star, since he isn’t a good actor.  He’s not bad, but he’s just unable to do anything but be Chris Rock on stage.  Trying to emote anything, he comes off as stiff. Especially when he’s paired with Rosario Dawson, an amazing performer who runs circles around him with a bit of a shit part of the woman with a secret who loves Rock for no other reason than they have to fall in love.  Despite the lack of a charismatic lead, the movie is ok.  The basic plot is a less interesting version of Funny People, but it’s fine enough.  And the message of balancing being yourself with doing what works is a solid enough idea. The satire of the industry has it’s moments but usually just falls into childish bitterness.  The supporting cast is great, picking out a bunch of really talented black comedic actors to fill the world out and make it feel more real than the entertainment side of the story.   I don’t know.  It’s not bad, just really flawed and a little too indebted to other mens work.  It has it’s moments and is better than Chris Rocks other movies, but it falls short of soaring like it could have. 

Rating: 7/10

Predestination (April 11th, 2015)
Directors: The Spierig Brothers
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Sarah Snook, and Noah Taylor

This is a total mindfuck of a movie.  For one, it is not what I expected at all.  The structure of the movie is so different than what you would assume a time travel kind of action movie would be.  I really don’t wanna say anything else about the movie, because going in cold is the best way to do it.  All one needs to know is that Ethan Hawke plays a time cop and he has a mission.  Things don’t play out the way you would expect at all, and it’s a ride.  Based off a Robert Heinlein story, that’s to be expected.  The only other movie like it would be 12 Monkeys.  And while it doesn’t hit the highs of 12 Monkeys, it comes damn close.  An original fucking movie that should shut up any jagoffs constantly complaining about the death of cinema and/or comic book movies.  Damn shame it didn’t get the coverage or discussion it deserved.  I think it’ll have legs and be discovered down the road.

Rating: 9/10













Top Movies

1. The Driver
2. Predestination
3. Wild Card
4. Top Five

- Tom Lorenzo