Welcome back gang, we got some fire for yo ass this week. Got some real work done, and all some worthwhile flicks. I even got a fucking masterpiece in at the last minute. And I continue the Joe Dante trip, so that’s a fun piece of continuity. Add in a newly in theaters flick, we got something for everyone! So give it a spin homeys.
The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (August 16th, 2015)
Director: Guy Ritchie
Starring: Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer, Alicia Vikander, and Elizabeth Debecki
It’s a bit of a shame this movie bombed as big as it did, because it’s an enjoyable little romp. It shouldn’t have set records or anything, but it’s a shame it went up against Straight Outta Compton and got smoked. Maybe it should have stayed in the original date of February. Would have stood out amidst the detritus of the early year graveyard. Cause it’s not an amazing movie. It’s enjoyable and light and breezy. But it doesn’t really hit any real great heights, just humming along at a consistently ok quality. Ritchie brings some welcome style and a fast pace to the proceedings that helps overlook the humdrum plot. Ritchie also brings a good eye to some setpieces, giving us some unique and stylish action scenes. One such highlight is an action scene set in the background as Cavill has a snack. Luckily the movie has Cavill and Hammer to make the movie work, because their chemistry is great. They never really play friends, just forced acquaintances with a begrudging respect. Cavill is the smooth talking and cocky American with a con man persona, while Hammer is a borderline psychopathic Russian Terminator. Cavill’s treatment of Hammer as this fascinating creature is hilarious. Hammer really sells the stoic Russian nature and the physicality of the role. And Cavill is actually good at comedy, playing a winking straight man. He’s having a blast with a Cary Grant-esque voice. It’s fast paced and entertaining enough but never really gets the engine going full blast enough to really become a must see sadly. I wish they could make another just for Hammer and Cavill, but sadly that’s pretty much guaranteed to never happen. You gotta feel bad for Hammer at this point, seeing that he can’t appear in a successful movie to save his life.
Rating: 8/10
The Burbs (August 17th, 2015)
Director: Joe Dante
Starring: Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Rick Ducommun, and Carrie Fisher
Continuing the Dante trip I’ve been on is one of his big ones. Most people forget that Tom Hanks did comedies before Philadelphia in 1993, but he did and he was great at it. And getting together with one of the great comedic directors of the 80s was bound to be something special, and it is. The premise is simple. In a closed off little suburban neighborhood, a new family moves in and does not socialize. This makes everyone else curious and a bit paranoid about them, concocting stories about them. The neighbors include Hanks, Dern and Ducommun. They get a little mob mentality thing going, doing surveillance and trying their damnedest to make sure their neighborhood is safe. I like how the movie has a bit of a slow build to it, building to a showdown with these neighbors. And I like that it doesn’t end how you expect it too. It’s building up to a “the suburbanites are the crazy ones because suburban life is boring”, but it just goes in the other direction of “no, these guys are as creepy as they thought”. The cast is great, playing well in this world that Dante has built. It’s a realistic world to ours in a way, but slightly off. Not in a self felatting Tim Burton way, but in how the situations are just insane and not of the norm. And when the things go sideways, Dante chews on them. It doesn’t hit some of the demented highs of Gremlins, but it’s close. Only real issue with the flick is it could have used a few more comic beats, but the movie is still funny as hell. It just coulda moved closer to Innerspace and Gremlins. Highly recommended not just for fans of Dante or Hanks, but of film fans in general. A nice little warped version of an Amblin movie.
Rating: 8.5/10
The Man Who Knew Too Much (August 20th, 2015)
Director: Alfred Hitchcock
Starring: Leslie Banks, Edna Best, Frank Vosper, and Peter Lorre
This choice came about due to me feeling in a particularly scholarly mood, looking in the far past to see some early work by the legend known as Hitch. Always nice to see the beginnings of a mans career, especially one as influential as Hitch. Fun to see some of the hints at what a master he would become. But that’s kinda all I got from this movie. Hints. Because the movie is pretty short, but fuck it felt long. And it’s very British, with the two leads (Banks and Best) just being really droll and witty way too often. It makes the movie feel really devoid of any tension, even when their daughter gets kidnapped. And the movie shouldn’t feel lax, as it has Peter Lorre doing that creeper thing he do and makes the movie come to life in moments. It’s one of Hitch’s man caught up in a conspiracy movies, and not the best. I am interested in the self made remake he’d do about 20 years later with Jimmy Stewart, see if he could wrangle the movie to life. It’s a short movie and while it feels long, the plot itself moves absurdly quick. There’s almost no room to breathe and the conspiracy is unraveled almost immediately it feels like. I wish I could say I loved or even really liked the movie. What I won’t say is that it’s bad, because it isn’t. It just feels like a missed opportunity, one he may have fixed down the road. This is only for Hitch completists really.
Rating: 7/10
Sharky’s Machine (August 21st, 2015)
1. The Woman
Sharky’s Machine (August 21st, 2015)
Director: Burt Reynolds
Starring: Burt Reynolds, Rachel Ward, Charles Durning, and Vittorio Gassman
Gotta love Burt Reynolds. He’s such a 70s/80s piece of ham, a smirking meathead with a sense of humor. We forget that he was actually a good actor once though. He fell into accidental self parody for a while, and then reminded us in Boogie Nights he can act. He threw that opportunity away, and is back to a joke again. But in the 70s and early 80s, dude was great. He could act and was a movie star. Just fun to watch. And this directorial effort from the man is a hell of a little grimy cop movie. It’s like a Dirty Harry movie, with a bit of DePalma voyeurism in it. Reynolds is Sharky, a Narco cop busted down to vice after a shooting, basically being tossed aside to rot away as punishment. But he uncovers a high class prostitution ring that has a government official involved and a vicious crime boss. During this investigation, he has to stakeout a prostitutes apartment (Ward), and he ends up falling for her from afar. Corruption ends up making things very difficult, with Sharky and his crew having to scramble to take this crime boss down before his menacing hitman makes mince meat of them. As a director, Reynolds ain’t bad. The movie is a bit rough around the edges, with some choppy editing in parts and other parts running a little too long. But overall, he really brings the sleaze out of the movie. The story isn’t anything too original, but it gets nasty enough to feel fresher than other cop flicks of the day. The best example is during the obligatory scene of Sharky getting captured by the bad guys and interrogated for info, they actually cut some fingers off and it’s nasty. Reynolds does good work as the movie star here, being interesting enough to wanna watch. He’s got a shit heel grin on most the time, but is quick to violence when the time calls. The romance in the movie is way too hasty, not being too well developed to feel right. There’s some weird diversions with the partners, some odd and wonderfully un pc jabs of humor. It’s so of it’s time that I just enjoyed it. Unabashedly violent and sleazy, I can recommend it for a good time with a cop flick.
Rating: 8/10
The Woman (August 22nd, 2015)
Director: Lucky McKee
Director: Lucky McKee
Starring: Sean Bridgers, Pollyanna Macintosh, Lauren Ashley Carter, and Angela Bettis
Where do I even being with a movie like this? I’ve heard about it for a while now and it has been talked about with such reverent tones, I don’t know why the fuck I didn’t see until now. Economic reasons probably, now that I have the money to see the more difficult to see stuff. And now seeing it, I understand why it’s talked about so lovingly. It’s a brutal, brilliant film that pulls absolutely no punches while somehow never veering into gratuitous territory. It’s a searingly feminist film, one that pulls absolutely no punches about it’s stance. And it manages to be more complex than simply men are all shits, as it even takes aim at the women who allow themselves to be controlled by these animals. I’m really not even going to say anything about the film. This is something that needs to be seen fresh and unassuming, letting the brilliant and beautiful brutality wash over you. Not for the faint of heart or for those with a neckbeard who hate women (subconsciously or consciously). If you trust my opinion on film or just horror, this is a must see. An absolute masterpiece of tension, thematic heft and bloodletting. See it now.
Rating: 10/10
Shocker (August 22nd, 2015)
Director: Wes Craven
Starring: Peter Berg, Mitch Pileggi, Michael Murphy, and Cami Cooper
Oh man, this fucking movie. It’s really crazy and out of it’s mind, seemingly going right off the deep end. But I honestly believe the shit reputation it has is unwarranted and a little misguided. For I am of the mind that Shocker is actually Wes Craven going very satirical, taking shots at the 80s horror scene he helped to create. Because right from the jump, the movie seems like a joke if you know Cravens career. This is the man who created the original Nightmare On Elm Street, and he starts his movie off very similar to that movies opening. But he also has the movie start off with a hair metal track written for the movie, another sly reference to the 80s horror genre having hair metal soundtracks. The movie even delves into nightmares having tangible effects on things, alternate realities and a serial killer with a paranormal ability that likes to crack wise when killing motherfuckers. He goes big and broad and may not be as wholly successful a satire as, say, Gremlins 2 but I really think it’s a damn good flick. Satire or no, Pileggi is fucking great as Horace Pinker. The dude is actually a worthwhile villain before he even becomes supernatural. He kills and he’s really good at it. And fuck, the movie even takes a shot at Halloween 2 for adding a familial relationship between killer and main character. It’s big, weird and just chock full of 80s horrorness. With an open mind, this is fun stuff.
Rating: 8/10 objectively, 10/10 subjectively
Top Movies
1. The Woman
2. The Burbs
3. Shocker
3. Shocker
4. The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
5. Sharkys Machine
6. The Man Who Knew Too Much
- Tom Lorenzo
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