The People Under The Stairs (June 29th, 2014)
Director: Wes Craven
Starring: Brandon Adams, Everett McGill, Wendy Robie, and AJ Langer
Wes Craven is an odd man. He has, for the most part, done horror movies his entire career. He got his start doing brutal, low budget movies with a nasty streak in them. Hell, he made one of the best, most innovative slashers of all time with A Nightmare on Elm Street, that kept his nasty streak going but with a growing sense of smarts. But throughout his career, he has made movies with respectable goals but just miss the mark, ending up completely goofy and being almost unwatchable. But then he makes a movie like this, a movie thats intent is seemingly to be a bit goofy and not hardcore in the least. Craven seems to know what he's doing here, purposefully going in a more cartoony territory. We follow a young black kid and his uncle as they try to rob the rich landlords of the tenement that they live in, because the landlords are trying to force them out. And right off the bat, we know the movie is gonna be a bit cartoonish, because Craven has the landlords do Ronald and Nancy Reagan impersonations. He's not even trying to hide the fact that he thinks the Reagans are assholes who hate and live off the poor. And while the movie may be unlike his best stuff, it's not bad. By going into the movie with this goal, the movie actually works better for it. It's not great, and it's barely good. But it has enough thrills and comedic value in it to be a good time. The landlords (McGill and Robie) are really gloriously over the top, doing brilliantly bad Reagans. Adams is good enough as the kid sucked into a bad spot and trying to do the right thing. But the real MVP to me is Langer, who plays the young girl kidnapped and brainwashed into believing she is the landlords child. She is great at playing a broken and terrified little girl, nailing the PTSD elements she needs to portray. So while them movie is far from perfect, getting a bit too silly at times, it's an entertaining watch. To see some under the radar Craven, this might be the best of the little seen bunch.
Rating: 7/10
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (July 4th, 2014)
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Peter Cullen, Kelsey Grammer, and Stanley Tucci
Michael Bay does not make good movies. He makes movies that are technically impeccable. But from a writing and performance perspective, he is tone deaf. But he makes movies that are so gloriously stupid, with thrillingly big ideas that make almost no sense that one can't help but enjoy the audacity you see on the screen. This movie features one of the most mindblowing subplots in a mainstream sci fi blockbuster ever, with a brilliantly insane setup for the next one. What is that? Robot God puts a bounty on Optimus Prime, so the next movie is gonna be Optimus searching him/them out for vengeance. Seriously. It's so insane, I was gonna dig the movie no matter how stupid the rest of the movie could be. And it got stupid. Mainly, Mark Wahlberg playing an inventor. We know he's smart because he wears glasses. Simple enough, Michael Bay decided to go with the go to 90s way of portraying smarts. The actress playing his daughter isn't good, just another empty vessel for Bay to shoot like a commercial model. Neither is the boyfriend, an absolutely worthless character overall. But Grammer and Tucci actually do good work, with Grammer seemingly not realizing he's in a Transformers movie. Cullen still is doing great work as Optimus, the only robot anyone actually cares about. Although, my favorite might be the samurai robot named Drift, played by Ken Watanabe. Michael Bay is one of the most interesting directors to watch, because we just truly get to see what a sick man he actually is. He's an auteur, where his movies just speak to how bent his world view is. So while the Bayhem is good in this, it's still a Transformers movie. If you don't find that or Bay interesting, nothing will change that. But if you were on the fence, go see it. At the very least, its so bold and stupid that it has to be seen.
Rating: 7/10
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (July 5th, 2014)
Director: Jonathan Levine
Starring: Amber Heard, Anson Mount, and Michael Welch
This movie was shelved for about 8 years due to financial problems with its studio. When a movie is gone that long, people think it's probably because the movie sucks. But that wasn't true with Cabin In The Woods, and not completely the truth here. The movie is a typical slasher movie, with asshole kids being killed because they do drugs and fuck. But it has a nice little twist where it seems like a loser kid is doing it to the bullies, an accidentally timely movie seeing as how the MRA movement and the constant mass murders are almost constant in this country. But then another twist breaks out and it kinda irritated me too much. I won't spoil it but I will say it was hinted at subtly, but I still don't think it works. The movie is shot well enough, and the performances from the three above work well. It manages to be a nice throwback to 80s slashers without being steeped in 80s cliches or play like an homage like My Bloody Valentine 3D, or get very meta like the post Scream movies. It's a nice little balancing act that I wish could have been used in slightly better movie. Hell, I'd like to see this director take on a new Halloween if Patrick Lussier isn't available. If you like horror, there are so many worse to choose from. If you're curious, give it a look. It's not bad, just a tad disappointing.
Rating: 7/10
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (July 4th, 2014)
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Peter Cullen, Kelsey Grammer, and Stanley Tucci
Michael Bay does not make good movies. He makes movies that are technically impeccable. But from a writing and performance perspective, he is tone deaf. But he makes movies that are so gloriously stupid, with thrillingly big ideas that make almost no sense that one can't help but enjoy the audacity you see on the screen. This movie features one of the most mindblowing subplots in a mainstream sci fi blockbuster ever, with a brilliantly insane setup for the next one. What is that? Robot God puts a bounty on Optimus Prime, so the next movie is gonna be Optimus searching him/them out for vengeance. Seriously. It's so insane, I was gonna dig the movie no matter how stupid the rest of the movie could be. And it got stupid. Mainly, Mark Wahlberg playing an inventor. We know he's smart because he wears glasses. Simple enough, Michael Bay decided to go with the go to 90s way of portraying smarts. The actress playing his daughter isn't good, just another empty vessel for Bay to shoot like a commercial model. Neither is the boyfriend, an absolutely worthless character overall. But Grammer and Tucci actually do good work, with Grammer seemingly not realizing he's in a Transformers movie. Cullen still is doing great work as Optimus, the only robot anyone actually cares about. Although, my favorite might be the samurai robot named Drift, played by Ken Watanabe. Michael Bay is one of the most interesting directors to watch, because we just truly get to see what a sick man he actually is. He's an auteur, where his movies just speak to how bent his world view is. So while the Bayhem is good in this, it's still a Transformers movie. If you don't find that or Bay interesting, nothing will change that. But if you were on the fence, go see it. At the very least, its so bold and stupid that it has to be seen.
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (July 5th, 2014)
Director: Jonathan Levine
Starring: Amber Heard, Anson Mount, and Michael Welch
This movie was shelved for about 8 years due to financial problems with its studio. When a movie is gone that long, people think it's probably because the movie sucks. But that wasn't true with Cabin In The Woods, and not completely the truth here. The movie is a typical slasher movie, with asshole kids being killed because they do drugs and fuck. But it has a nice little twist where it seems like a loser kid is doing it to the bullies, an accidentally timely movie seeing as how the MRA movement and the constant mass murders are almost constant in this country. But then another twist breaks out and it kinda irritated me too much. I won't spoil it but I will say it was hinted at subtly, but I still don't think it works. The movie is shot well enough, and the performances from the three above work well. It manages to be a nice throwback to 80s slashers without being steeped in 80s cliches or play like an homage like My Bloody Valentine 3D, or get very meta like the post Scream movies. It's a nice little balancing act that I wish could have been used in slightly better movie. Hell, I'd like to see this director take on a new Halloween if Patrick Lussier isn't available. If you like horror, there are so many worse to choose from. If you're curious, give it a look. It's not bad, just a tad disappointing.
- Tom Lorenzo
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