WELCOME! Back again with some new entries for ya, this was a wild week. I thought I'd just go through the old Apes movies, and I started that way. But then I said fuck it, I wanna see some other shit. Majority of the week was sci fi, but then I got into an ambitious coming of age story and a real life comedy. It's a solid week. I'm also doing something new at the end of the article with some listings, give a bit more credit to the movies. Hopefully I can do it again with as wide a variety to choose from. Either way, enjoy and see ya soon.
Planet of The Apes (July 13th, 2014)
Director: Franklin J. Schaffner
Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, and Maurice Evans
The movie that accidentally started a 8 movie deep, still running franchise. The crazy thing though is it wasn't meant to launch a franchise, but the instantly iconic ending added so much history and so many questions, a sequel and now prequels were almost obvious in hindsight. Now, this was a movie I had seen a long time ago and didn't much care for. But as time went on, I got much more interested in Sci Fi and more specifically The Twilight Zone. Which is a good thing, because this is a feature length Sci Fi edition of The Twilight Zone, since Rod Serling had a big hand in the making, the ending being the most obvious element. For those uninitiated (which, wtf are you doing reading this) the movie is about a crew of astronauts ending up 2000 years in the future and crash landing on what they think is an alien planet in a far off galaxy. Then they see the planet is run by super intelligent Apes, with humans being thoughtless slaves. After being attacked, the only survivor is Charlton Heston, who is one of the ugliest men ever made a Hollywood star. After trying to escape the maniacal grasp of the planets scientists to be dissected, he does and ends up realizing that the planet is actually Earth in the future, destroyed by the arrogance of man. Now the movie was made in 1968, so it has some dated elements. Heston was okayed to be a star back then, somehow, seeing as he is a grotesque man who acts like William Shatners acting coach. But like Shatner, you can't help but watch him. There's a certain charisma that is very helpful, because the way the character is written, he could have been a real pain to watch. The makeup effects, which were revolutionary at the time (and are still pretty good all things considered), are kinda off. It may because the makeup in the vastly shittier remake by Tim Burton was actually really good (the only good thing), or that the work being done with Andy Serkis makes it look so much more outdated. But it also doesn't help that the ape effects make the actors have to be a bit bigger so we can see movements in the face. So the acting, while not bad, comes off a little broad. It's the Serling aspects of the movie that keep it great today, even relevant. This is a movie with a message, an unsubtle one like many a Twilight Zone. Basically, any intelligent life is just doomed to repeat history and destroy itself. We see what the humans left behind and see that the Apes are on the same path in a way. And really, it's the twist. That twist, a Twilight Zone special of "they were on Earth the whole time", gets a nice big screen update. The Statue of Liberty, destroyed and beached on shore. But not only is it a gut punch and nails the message, it adds alot more history and mystery to the world. What happened for the humans to destroy the world? How did the apes get to this place? Why are they so hateful of humans? The movie got a big dose of interesting with that ending, so much so that it spawning a franchise isn't surprising. Not to mention that the prequels are a lot more interesting that a prequel should have the right to be, since aside from great technical aspects with Andy Serkis and Matt Reeves, the movies were sort of gift wrapped an interesting concept. With a timeless message, a cool world and a great twist, the movie has stood the test of time and rightfully so. A classic in many sense, and not even close to matched or topped in 46 years.
Rating: 8/10
Beneath The Planet of The Apes (July 14th, 2014)
Director: Ted Post
Starring: James Franciscus, Linda Harrison, Maurice Evans, and Charlton Heston
The first sequel to the classic, it isn't as bad as one would think. It suffers a bit from sequelitis, where the plot is a little too close to the first one, with a protagonist that is too similar to Heston. Dealing with the fear of the Apes scientific curiosity and the realization of the setting. But then it goes further and takes the concept handed to them and goes big. Not necessarily in a good way, but it goes for it. It deals with super advanced humans with mental powers that worship a nuclear bomb, lead an underground rebellion and have no skin. They go big. And the ending is even more nihilistic than the first, with the entire world being nuked to other side by a pissed off and dying Heston. This is really only for those that are interested in the world and wanna see more Apes. It's fine enough and comes in a box set that is running $20 bucks at Best Buy, so it makes it easier to get informed. Recommended at your own discretion.
Rating: 7/10
Scanners (July 17th, 2014)
Director: David Cronenberg
Starring: Steven Lack, Patrick McGoohan, Jennifer O'Neill, and Michael Ironside
I really don't get how Cronenberg could have the balls to shit talk Comic Book movies when he's, 1. Made one (A History of Violence), and 2. made this which is like a low key knockoff of the X Men. It has to be him just trying to stir shit up to get attention, because it would be really disappointing to know he's just a crotchety old man. And while this isn't the greatest movie in the world, it has it's elements to make it worthwhile. In this world, there is a group of people called Scanners. They can connect their minds to others and affect changes. There is a weapons company trying to help some of these people control it so they can use them, but there is a man named Darryl Revok (Ironside) who is a Scanner himself and is out to seemingly stop them. But when someone at the company (McGoohan) uses the last scanner he has (Lack) to find and stop Revok, a lot of history comes to light. Now, the worst aspect of the movie is Lack. He isn't a very interesting presence. Blandness seems to be his stock in trade. But he is offset and overshadowed completely by Ironside, who steals the show. Completely menacing and interesting, he is much better than he is needed to be. The plot is interesting in it's twists and turns enough to keep you intrigued to see where Cronenberg is gonna take us. The effects are the star of the show though, with the iconic head exploding scene and the final battle. That final battle could be hard to swallow for people, seeing as it's just two guys making weird faces at each other while their bodies morph. Now while this doesn't reach the heights of Cronenbergs other works, or the height of the other 80s sci fi and action maestro John Carpenter, it is a highlight of the 80s B movie scene. Recommended for all sci fi fans and those to see Cronenbergs early days.
Rating: 8/10
Boyhood (July 18th, 2014)
Director: Richard Linklater
Starring: Ellar Coltrane, Patricia Arquette, Ethan Hawke, and Lorelei Linklater
This may sound hyperbolic, but this is very well the most ambitious movie ever made. Doubt me? Where are all the special effects and giant robot testicles? None to be found. This is a simple movie about growing up and realizing the harsh realities of life. How can that be ambitious? Try filming a few days a year for 12 years with the same cast, watching them actually grow without makeup effects or recasting. We see Ethan Hawke waltz right off the set Training Day, till the end where he walked right off the set of The Purge. The main star of the show, Coltrane, goes from a precocious little 6 year old until age 18, having aged into Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites. This is the grand thesis of Linklaters career, a man who has been very interested in the passage of time. The Before trilogy was his most ambitious idea before this, but that wasn't filmed in such a crazy way. Now, this is more of a series of shorts merged into a feature, so it doesn't have a real narrative thrust. And with the anthological aspect of the story, some parts work better than others. The beginning seems to have some straining going along, as it's finding its footing. But as it goes along, it becomes much more confident and transcendent. It also becomes more and more a Linklater movie, as the older Coltrane gets, the more philosophical he gets, much like Hawke in his other work with Linklater. The biggest miracle of the movie is not just keeping the same 4 main cast members the whole time, it's that Coltrane is a really solid actor. Being cast at 6 didn't really give anyone the confidence he'd grow into so well, but he luckily did. He carries the movie and gives the movie it's soul. Arquette has done career best work, surprising anyone who saw her in True Romance. She brings the strength and sadness to a woman who tries her best to protect her family but keeps picking the wrong men. Hawke does good work too, but not as good as the Before movies, mainly because he isn't in this as much as those movies. He is a bit of a breathe of fresh air, as the irresponsible Dad who is more realistically irresponsible. Instead of being a jerk or a alcoholic or having any other cliche bad dad traits, he's just not mature enough at the beginning. But we chart his growth until he actually becomes a grown up. Lorelei is good as the sister, but doesn't really have as much to do as the other three. She just plays moody girl. She does it fine, but the other three have such juicy parts that she kinda sticks out. But this is a movie that is more than the disparate parts. It is a transcendent work and it is something that will probably never be duplicated again. Linklater may have done better work with the Before movies, but he'll never do anything so innovative again. A real magical piece of work, I highly recommend.
Rating: 9/10
Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (July 19th, 2014)
Director: Jeff Tremaine
Starring: Johnny Knoxville and Jackson Nicoll
And after the real and beautiful work that is Boyhood, we lead into Bad Grandpa, a movie that starts with Knoxville dressed as an old man who gets his dick stuck in a vending machine. No, they did not rip off Sacha Baron Cohen with this. The idea of getting dressed up and fucking with the public has been done before, and they were doing it on Jackass long before Borat got blown into oblivion. Following Knoxville as Irving Zissman and his "grandson" played by Jackson Nicoll as they drive across country to deliver the kid to his "Dad". The movie is really just about doing some wild shit and seeing the reactions of people, almost coming very close to violence some times. They have a narrative running through it, but only as a way to make it like a real movie in between the comedic bits. Knoxville is a better actor than he gets credit for and is still as game as he used to be, even if he's a little more worse for wear. Nicoll is a funny little kid too, fitting right into the Jackass world. This is a movie that is content with making people laugh and it does so. Not as funny as Jackass 2 or 3, but it wrings some humor out of ya.
Rating: 8/10
Weekly Rankings
Best Movies
1. Boyhood
2. Planet of The Apes
3. Scanners
4. Bad Grandpa
5. Beneath The Planet of The Apes
Top 5 Performances Performances
1. Ellar Coltrane
2. Michael Ironside
3. Charlton Heston
4. Johnny Knoxville
5. Ethan Hawke
Top 5 Moments
1. The Statue of Liberty - Planet of The Apes
2. Mason Jr goes to College - Boyhood
3. Head Goes Kablooey - Scanners
4. Gets Your Stinking Paws off Me - Planet of The Apes
5. Iriving In The Strip Club - Bad Grandpa
Beneath The Planet of The Apes (July 14th, 2014)
Director: Ted Post
Starring: James Franciscus, Linda Harrison, Maurice Evans, and Charlton Heston
The first sequel to the classic, it isn't as bad as one would think. It suffers a bit from sequelitis, where the plot is a little too close to the first one, with a protagonist that is too similar to Heston. Dealing with the fear of the Apes scientific curiosity and the realization of the setting. But then it goes further and takes the concept handed to them and goes big. Not necessarily in a good way, but it goes for it. It deals with super advanced humans with mental powers that worship a nuclear bomb, lead an underground rebellion and have no skin. They go big. And the ending is even more nihilistic than the first, with the entire world being nuked to other side by a pissed off and dying Heston. This is really only for those that are interested in the world and wanna see more Apes. It's fine enough and comes in a box set that is running $20 bucks at Best Buy, so it makes it easier to get informed. Recommended at your own discretion.
Scanners (July 17th, 2014)
Director: David Cronenberg
Starring: Steven Lack, Patrick McGoohan, Jennifer O'Neill, and Michael Ironside
I really don't get how Cronenberg could have the balls to shit talk Comic Book movies when he's, 1. Made one (A History of Violence), and 2. made this which is like a low key knockoff of the X Men. It has to be him just trying to stir shit up to get attention, because it would be really disappointing to know he's just a crotchety old man. And while this isn't the greatest movie in the world, it has it's elements to make it worthwhile. In this world, there is a group of people called Scanners. They can connect their minds to others and affect changes. There is a weapons company trying to help some of these people control it so they can use them, but there is a man named Darryl Revok (Ironside) who is a Scanner himself and is out to seemingly stop them. But when someone at the company (McGoohan) uses the last scanner he has (Lack) to find and stop Revok, a lot of history comes to light. Now, the worst aspect of the movie is Lack. He isn't a very interesting presence. Blandness seems to be his stock in trade. But he is offset and overshadowed completely by Ironside, who steals the show. Completely menacing and interesting, he is much better than he is needed to be. The plot is interesting in it's twists and turns enough to keep you intrigued to see where Cronenberg is gonna take us. The effects are the star of the show though, with the iconic head exploding scene and the final battle. That final battle could be hard to swallow for people, seeing as it's just two guys making weird faces at each other while their bodies morph. Now while this doesn't reach the heights of Cronenbergs other works, or the height of the other 80s sci fi and action maestro John Carpenter, it is a highlight of the 80s B movie scene. Recommended for all sci fi fans and those to see Cronenbergs early days.
Boyhood (July 18th, 2014)
Director: Richard Linklater
Starring: Ellar Coltrane, Patricia Arquette, Ethan Hawke, and Lorelei Linklater
This may sound hyperbolic, but this is very well the most ambitious movie ever made. Doubt me? Where are all the special effects and giant robot testicles? None to be found. This is a simple movie about growing up and realizing the harsh realities of life. How can that be ambitious? Try filming a few days a year for 12 years with the same cast, watching them actually grow without makeup effects or recasting. We see Ethan Hawke waltz right off the set Training Day, till the end where he walked right off the set of The Purge. The main star of the show, Coltrane, goes from a precocious little 6 year old until age 18, having aged into Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites. This is the grand thesis of Linklaters career, a man who has been very interested in the passage of time. The Before trilogy was his most ambitious idea before this, but that wasn't filmed in such a crazy way. Now, this is more of a series of shorts merged into a feature, so it doesn't have a real narrative thrust. And with the anthological aspect of the story, some parts work better than others. The beginning seems to have some straining going along, as it's finding its footing. But as it goes along, it becomes much more confident and transcendent. It also becomes more and more a Linklater movie, as the older Coltrane gets, the more philosophical he gets, much like Hawke in his other work with Linklater. The biggest miracle of the movie is not just keeping the same 4 main cast members the whole time, it's that Coltrane is a really solid actor. Being cast at 6 didn't really give anyone the confidence he'd grow into so well, but he luckily did. He carries the movie and gives the movie it's soul. Arquette has done career best work, surprising anyone who saw her in True Romance. She brings the strength and sadness to a woman who tries her best to protect her family but keeps picking the wrong men. Hawke does good work too, but not as good as the Before movies, mainly because he isn't in this as much as those movies. He is a bit of a breathe of fresh air, as the irresponsible Dad who is more realistically irresponsible. Instead of being a jerk or a alcoholic or having any other cliche bad dad traits, he's just not mature enough at the beginning. But we chart his growth until he actually becomes a grown up. Lorelei is good as the sister, but doesn't really have as much to do as the other three. She just plays moody girl. She does it fine, but the other three have such juicy parts that she kinda sticks out. But this is a movie that is more than the disparate parts. It is a transcendent work and it is something that will probably never be duplicated again. Linklater may have done better work with the Before movies, but he'll never do anything so innovative again. A real magical piece of work, I highly recommend.
Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (July 19th, 2014)
Director: Jeff Tremaine
Starring: Johnny Knoxville and Jackson Nicoll
And after the real and beautiful work that is Boyhood, we lead into Bad Grandpa, a movie that starts with Knoxville dressed as an old man who gets his dick stuck in a vending machine. No, they did not rip off Sacha Baron Cohen with this. The idea of getting dressed up and fucking with the public has been done before, and they were doing it on Jackass long before Borat got blown into oblivion. Following Knoxville as Irving Zissman and his "grandson" played by Jackson Nicoll as they drive across country to deliver the kid to his "Dad". The movie is really just about doing some wild shit and seeing the reactions of people, almost coming very close to violence some times. They have a narrative running through it, but only as a way to make it like a real movie in between the comedic bits. Knoxville is a better actor than he gets credit for and is still as game as he used to be, even if he's a little more worse for wear. Nicoll is a funny little kid too, fitting right into the Jackass world. This is a movie that is content with making people laugh and it does so. Not as funny as Jackass 2 or 3, but it wrings some humor out of ya.
Weekly Rankings
Best Movies
2. Planet of The Apes
3. Scanners
4. Bad Grandpa
5. Beneath The Planet of The Apes
Top 5 Performances Performances
2. Michael Ironside
3. Charlton Heston
4. Johnny Knoxville
5. Ethan Hawke
Top 5 Moments
2. Mason Jr goes to College - Boyhood
3. Head Goes Kablooey - Scanners
4. Gets Your Stinking Paws off Me - Planet of The Apes
5. Iriving In The Strip Club - Bad Grandpa
- Tom Lorenzo
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