Scream 3

Why the fuck not, right? A horror movie is made by Wes Craven, this time “Scream”, and does so well a sequel is made. The sequel was a success and a third is created. There must be something about this sequel that gets Wes’ create juices flowing, because he shows up for an unprecedented second sequel. So, what’s up in this movie?

Well two years have passed since the second one. It all adds up time wise, because this came out three years after the second one, which takes place two years after the first. Fucking math. But anyway, Sidney is living in exile up in the woods. She’s a little affected by the whole serial killer thing, so she’s off on her own. She works with a womans help phone line. This is one of my favorite things about the sequels. Sidney is actually affected by the shit that’s gone on in her life. She’s withdrawn and doesn’t trust anyone. She feels guilty and I like that, actual character development. We also get Dewey and Gale back into the fold. After the murder of someone from their past, the three are brought back into the fold after the killer is found to be looking for Sid. This time though, it’s on the set of Stab 3. Stab is the movie that is based off what happened in Woodsboro in the first “Scream. So, even more tongue in cheek meta humor. Added to the cast is Parker Posey, Patrick Dempsey and Scott Foley, with a cameo by Lance Henriksen.

The movie suffers from the same problem as “Scream 2”, and that is familiarity. But this one suffers less than 2 because it does stray a bit. For one, Sid is not in the movie as much. Two, no school setting. Three, everything comes full circle. The movie actually is a little more clever than 2. So with that being said, how is the movie.

Well, I liked it. It continued the twisted story we have followed for 5 years and brings it to a rather nice conclusion, yet leaves it open if the right story comes up. Which apparently has happened, since “Scream 4” is supposed to be going into production in May. But this movie adds some decent scares and keeps the humor. The satire of hollywood and unnecessary sequels is done pretty well in this movie. It keeps it fresh and entertaining.

It really amazes me how this movie series just connected with people. I’m not saying the series isn’t good. Honestly, it’s probably the most consistent and well made horror series. But it’s very rare for a series, of any genre, to be this popular. I remember the big hubbub this movie had when it came out. Who’s gonna be the killer, whats gonna happen? It was crazy. And Wes and crew were so secretive, being made around the time the internet was fucking up movie secrets. This series is great. I’m not for unnecessary sequels, but if the script is good and Wes comes back which he apparently is, I’m for it. This is like horror Holy Grail. If you like horror movies, you’ll like it. Fuck what Rob Zombie says, that hairy fuckhead. But if slasher/horror movies aren’t for you, than be wary about this.

8 out of 10.

Scream 2

It was inevitable. It really was. Wes Craven made a groundbreaking horror movie that made a lot of money...again. So it makes alot of sense that a sequel would be made. But no one thought it would be out this quickly. Kevin Williamson wrote this one right after writing the first, feeling there was more to be told in this story. So filming began 6 months after the first one and a year after the first came out, we get the sequel. But as big a surprise as the speed of the sequel getting made is the fact Wes Craven actually came back to make it.

Wes Craven is probably the best, at the very least most consistent, horror director around. The man has so many classics under his belt, yet he only has two sequels. And if you think about it, one of the movies is barely a sequel, “Wes Cravens New Nightmare”. The other was “The Hills Have Eyes 2”, which is just as terrible as the sequel to the remake. So, when Wes makes a sequel, people should be a bit worried. But alas, Wes made another solid horror movie.

The sequel jumps ahead two years. This works because the teen characters weren’t played by teens, which is another sly wink at horror movies by Wes. All the surviving characters return with the same actors. We got new people too, notably Jerry O Connell as Sids boyfriend Derek and Timothy Olyphant as film student Mickey. By the way, is it possible for Olyphant to look old? The many is 42, yet 13 years ago he looked like he was 18. Now he looks 28. The man is quite possibly a god or some sort of demagogue. But I digress. So the cast is in order and we got two relatively known actors being slaughtered in the opening, which has become the norm in the series. So, how does the movie do?

Well, as the usual in most sequels not penned by Christopher Nolan, it is not quite as fresh as the original. But really, a movie so unique like “Scream” is very hard to recreate. But it holds it’s own and creates another smart movie that skewers convention. This time, the movie skewers the sequel. References are abound again, but in a smaller dose. But it is clever. The worst part is the familiarity, but like I said it’s hard for a sequel to move past the original.

I am a giant fan of horror movies. So again, this movie is a great addition to our collections. It keeps it fresh with new a new killer(s) and a new setting, a college campus. The satirizing of sequels is welcome, making it more tongue in cheek. Like I said, it’s nowhere near as original as...well, as the original. It’s not as good as the first, but at the same time keeps the tone and doesn’t nuke the shark.

8 out of 10

Scream

[Edit]I realized this was on the top 500 after I posted it, So fuck me right? I'll repost it when it's time comes. But that'll be in 2011.[Edit]

Where or where do we being with “Scream”, Wes Cravens other iconic horror franchise? Well, I really believe that this movie single handedly killed the slasher genre and crippled the horror genre in general. Wes Craven is a mastermind of horror, unleashing horror like no one else can. Cravens only other competitor is John Carpenter, who shit out in the 90’s. I think Wes went into this movie to try and shit on the movies being passed off as horror in those days. And boy, he shit on them and then some.

The movie has a simple premise that gets more complex as it goes along. We go from a simple and gruesome double murder to the possibility of a serial killer who has been waiting for a year to strike after the one year anniversary of his first kill. The first kill being that of Maureen Prescott, mother of main character Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell).

Wes Craven really brings his A game here. The many references and homages to past horror movies is really well done and goes to show you the love that Wes has for the genre. The movie is really clever, adding a satirical element that is what effectively kills the genre. Its a smart movie that goes against genre conventions. It tells us the rules of horror movies and says “Fuck the rules”. It also has a very effective whodunit aspect which makes you think at least everyone is a suspect at least one time during the movie. Its a well made movie with good scares. My favorite part in the movie is using two scenes from "Halloween" and juxtaposes it with scenes in the movie. But it wouldn’t be the movie it is without the right cast, and it has that in spades.

The cast in this movie play their parts really well. Neve is great as the damaged teen who is targeted by the killer. Skeet Ulrich (or as I like to call him, Johnny Depp 2) is really good as the boyfriend with his own demons. Courtney Cox is very slimy as the opportunistic reporter Gale Weathers. David Arquette bumbles his way through as the childish Deputy Dewey. Then you got Jamie Kennedy (I know, right?), Matthew Lillard, Rose McGowan and Drew Berrymore. These guys play their parts so well, you pretty much forgo any prior knowledge of the actors and just see the characters.

It’s really amazing this movie came out 14 years ago. I remember my older shit heel brother loving this movie. The popularity of this movie is almost unprecedented. The coverage this movie made is astounding. It took the world by storm. Not even movies like “Saw” or the terrible “Paranormal Activity”. Where “Saw” changed the sub genre that was popular at the time to torture porn, which is a shitty title, and “Paranormal Activity” which dethroned “Saw, “Scream” was the most popular movie for a long time. As a unabashed horror fan, this movie is a milestone. It goes against the grain. Rob Zombie said that this movie sucks and is not what real horror fans like. Well Rob, fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Lets be real, you have not made any horror movies worth a shit. I like em, but lets be real and say you know dick about creating tension or real character that don’t come off as “Deliverance” rejects. Any real horror fan loves this movie and cherishes it as the last great horror classic. I love this movie.

The movie is simply a horror classic. It works on many levels. One, it works as a very effective horror movie. Two, it works as a whodunit. Third, it works as a very well done satire of the genre. This will live on as a classic and rightly so. I need to say that Wes Craven is a fucking lunatic and I love him for it.

10 out of 10.

Brooklyn's Finest

After a few years of mediocrity after the great “Training Day”, Antoine Fuqua is back with another movie about cops that blur the line between good and evil. We follow three cops in this movie. Richard Gere is Eddie, a beat cop who is seven days from retiring. Ethan Hawke is Sal, the narco who is in desperate need of money to provide for his family. Finally, Don Cheadle is Tango, the undercover cop who has been under too long.

I think the first thing I’d like to say is the performances are really good without being flashy or too loud. Gere is very good as Eddie, the cop who just wants his pension and doesn’t want to change the world. Gere really conveys the mans lack of direction, a man who has no purpose and no fight left. I never really liked Gere, but he really impressed me. Hawke is very good as Sal. Sal has 5 kids and twins on the way and lives in too small a house with mold. Right off the bat, we are shown that Sal is willing to do anything to get the money he needs to provide for his family. He is very nervous, twitchy and racked with guilt at doing the things he does and not being able to provide for his family. Cheadle, who I think is the weakest of the bunch, is very good as Tango. Tango has been under so long, the line between cop and criminal is starting to blur. Everyone is very good here, even the weaker links. Wesley Snipes is billed on the poster, but he’s a glorified supporting character. But he is very good as Caz, the kingpin who wants to leave the game after a 8 year bid in prison. I also liked seeing three alums from HBO’s “The Wire”, specifically Omar, Wee Bey, and Clay Davis (Michael Williams, Hassan Johnson and Issiah Whitlock Jr.).

The movie is sort of a slow burner. It moves at a slower than most pace, although we are following three arcs. The arcs in this movie aren’t typical Hollywood, the closest being Hawkes role. But even as it comes close to being cliche, the movie veers away. Geres arc seems very realistic, the guy who just does the job and doesn’t stand out. Hawkes is the most ambiguous, as a man who does bad things but only does it to provide for his family. Cheadles is the most sympathetic, as the man who goes undercover and starts to lose his senses. Everything moves perfectly, with every scene adding to character. My favorite arc has to be Geres, because it seems so real. But I like all arcs. My only gripe is I wish we could be with these guys more.

The movie is nothing groundbreaking. It doesn’t do anything that will be mimicked for years to come. As a movie, it’s better than “Training Day” but doesn’t have the performances to match up to what Washington and Hawke did there. But it is a very solid piece of cop fiction with some great character work and good performances. If the movie doesn’t interest you, there’s nothing to change your mind. This is either you’re kind of movie or not.

9 out of 10.

Alice In Wonderland (2010)

I’m gonna preface this with the fact that I hate Tim Burton. Like, truly despise. Every time he makes a new movie, every hot topic shopping shit heel creams their pants while I drop to my knees and shake my fists furiously at the gods. This is because the man makes the same god damn movie every time. Seriously, it’s like watching a joke on SNL. The only movie that was slightly different was “Sweeney Todd”, and that was because it has singing in it. The man is only capable at making “pretty movies”. Everything else is garbage. Before this becomes a hate train of Tim Burton, let me get to his latest cinematic afterbirth.

This is not a remake or a adaptation of old Alices. This is a sequel of sorts, the mindless, numbing sequel only Burton can make. Alice (Mia Wasikowa) here is 19 years old and is about to be married off before she stumbles back down the rabbit hole. But alas, Alice doesn’t remember being here in the first place. She thinks its a dream. So we get to see what we know has happened already happen again. JOY! Here we get the original characters brought to live either by live action or cgi. On the live action front, we have the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp), The Red Queen (Helena Butthole Carter), The White Queen (Anne Hathaway, my wife so back the fuck off) and the Knave of Hearts (Crispin Glover). CGI brings us the White Rabbit (Michael Sheen), the March Hare (Paul Whitehouse), Absolem (Hans Gruber), the jabberwocky (Christopher Lee) and the Cheshire Cat (Stephen Fry).

Everyone in the live action portion sucks dick. Except for Anne Hathaway, but she’ll always get a pass from me. Mia Wasikowa just has nothing to work with. Helena Butthole Carter just sucks, trying way too hard and yet not hard at all at being a villain. Crispin Glover proves once again why he never fucking works because he sucks at being anything other than George McFly. And Johnny Depp just doesn’t try at all here. He has like three different voices, seemingly forgetting he’s playing one character. This is just him playing dress up with his butt buddy Burton again. Sweet christ, nothing works with these characters.

The cgi on the other hand works a little better. The characters are still pointless because we are working in a pointless movie, but they fare better. The March hare gets points just for being fucking insane. The white rabbit feels like the white rabbit of old so good job. Absolem is just there to push Alice into where the script says she should be. The jabberwocky gets his fucking head cut off, oh noes spoilers. But the cheshire cat is a pimp and I love him. So good job nailing about three characters in the whole movie Tim, better average than your Batman movies.

What I love about Tim Burton is that he is so up his own ass. He said he wanted to add an emotional essence to the movie cause he never felt it with the others. He said they just felt like scene after scene with no cohesion. Well congrats Timmy, you made one even less sensical. Nothing happens for a reason. He also shoves the Mad Hatter in too as many scenes as possible. He also turns this fucking movie into a shitty version of “Lord of The Rings”.

I haven’t always hated Burton. He was good in the 80s. But I feel after “Batman Returns”, he just said fuck it look at all the 0s. He’s in such a rut. He’s decided gothic, shitty style is better than story or character or dialogue. People bash “Avatar” for being pointless and ham fisted. Well at least Cameron knows how to make a movie in the technical sense. He makes an actual good looking movie with some great action where Burton makes a shitty cartoon with such terrible action and “3d”. I quote 3d because he shot it in 2d and converted it, basically doing what Cameron said makes people hate 3d. Just another in a long line of bad decisons by Burton.

So lets see. Terrible acting, terrible dialogue, non existent script, bad effects, lame action, Johnny Depp getting paid for nothing as usual and Helena Bonham Carter only being in the movie because she can stomach seeing Burton nude. Fuck this movie. This is truly the death kneel of Burtons creativity. I’m sure Hot Topic is laughing all the way to the bank.

3 out of 10.